Learn Proper Gym Etiquette, Jerk!

Do you know what it means to be that guy or that girl?  

Say you are at a housewarming party and your neighbor Sally has one too many chocolate martinis. Somewhere between the lil smokies and the Grey Goose, she deems the kitchen counter her personal stage. And, of course, everyone gathers around because, hey, this is too good to miss.

So there she is, hair disheveled, thong hanging out and ready to perform her own rendition of Proud Mary. Two verses in and it’s official. Sally is no longer cute little Sally from the PTA who makes cheese blintzes on Sundays. Oh no, that title rolled down the river as she rolled up on stage. Poor Sally will now and forever be known as that girl.  

Or what about the co-worker who insists on making that disgusting gurgling sound in the back of his throat every time you sit down to eat your lunch.  

“Tom who? Oh, you mean that guy who makes me nauseous everyday between 12 and 1? Yeah, go ahead and fire his ass.”  

You get the idea. People whose identity is robbed and replaced by a title earned from a single act of being clueless, stupid or drunk. We’ve all been there and by no means am I judging. Right—who am I to judge? I’m considered that girl in at least three states and Mexico, twice. 

So do you ever run into those people? Of course you do, they’re everywhere, including the gym. Sweaty towels on the floor, excessive and unnecessary nakedness in the locker room, hogging equipment in cardio theater. Ugh, they’re the worst!

To ensure you don't become Sally or Tom, read below to find out more about proper gym etiquette.

Re-rack your weights: If you’re strong enough to put them on the machine, you’re strong enough to take them off and put them back. Jerk!

Don’t hover: If something is being used that you need, don’t stand around two feet from the person like a dog waiting for a bone. Go do something else.

Wash your clothes: Guess what? They smell and now so does everything else around you. Wear clean clothes or go outside.

Wear deodorant: OK, guess what again? You smell and it’s so not cool.

Stop the excessive nakedness: Yes, it’s a locker room but that doesn’t mean you need to prance around naked like a deer in the meadow. FYI, most people are uncomfortable with it, so if you choose to prance, stop with the naked conversations at least. And for God’s sake guys, stop tea bagging the locker room bench! Put down a towl.  

You're fellow dudes will appreciate it.

Quit checking yourself out: Just, stop it.

Stop yakking: Just because you’re there to socialize, doesn’t mean everyone else is. Say hi and move on.  

Don’t leave your stuff on the floor: There are lockers, use them. 

Be aware of your space: Didn’t they teach you that in kindergarten? Pay attention to what’s around you and who’s around you, for that matter.

Wipe your sweat: Sweat is great, just make sure you wipe yours up before you move along.

Get your hair out of the sink: It’s gross, so clean it up. I had a roommate in college who, I’m pretty sure, used to brush her hair inside our refrigerator. How else did it end up there? Ugh!  

Be on time to fitness classes: Not all classes, but some, require instruction and if you’re late, the instructor has to explain everything all over again. It’s a waste of time. Also, pay attention to the directions. Even if your instructor is a spastic blonde (aka me), please try to follow along. Think memory and mental fitness.

Don't be a hog: Gym space is limited, as is equipment. If you want to be a hog, go live on a farm.

Be polite: Well, yeah! Be nice to people. Don't be a macho meathead or you’ll be about as unpopular as smelly guy.

Did I forget anything? What drives you crazy at the gym? Tell me in the comments.