A Blog About Nothing, like Seinfeld.

Blog? Oh yeah. I too have a blog. I was just reading the fantastic Brianna Battles blog,  EverydayBattles.   Thank you for reminding me that I also have demanding readers (hi sis).  Bri, I do have a question for you.  Would you and Jared consider adopting me so I can have your last name?  I'm already potty trained. Think about it.
Moving onto more important questions, everyone not just Bri.
Have you ever belched under your breath in a crowded but quiet place while wearing ear plugs? Come to find out, it's not as "under your breath" as you might think. I keep forgetting that earplugs keep noise OUT, not keep noise IN.
And judging by the glare I just received from the fella across the room, I don't think they have the power of invisibility either.


Excuse, me! YOU try to peel an egg in your purse and not make a mess.


Chico coffee shops are so judge-e.
Chico, oh yeah! I'm in Chico, CA. Surprise! Moved back to my hometown 2 weeks ago.
It just wouldn't be me if I actually announced it like a normal person would.



So why did I move back?
Ahh, hell!  Outside of sharing which pair of underwear I currently have on (WEDNESDAY??!! woops) and my celebrity crush ( John Lithgow. Weird?), you already know everything about me. You've been there through Jaime's mental breakdowns; episodes 1 and 2.  You may remember classic highlights such as "Hi Mom, I'm homeless!"  and "Hey San Diego.  Go fu*k yourself!"


What to call episode 3?  How about, "Chico? Wait, what?"
My sad little point and no, I don't really have one but read anyway.

It's not really a mental breakdown, don't panic (mom).  But as we all know, life spits curve balls.   It can kick you in the balls, even when you don't have any.  The short story, San Diego kicked me one too many times.  This has happened to you I'm sure, it happens to everyone. Kick, kick, kick - "WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?!" kick, kick, head slam, atomic wedgie, kick, kick, kick.
Oh, I had to ask.


At some point, one must realize that a certain person, place or thing (that's a noun, dummy) isn't working out.  It wasn't San Diego's fault.  SD is great, but it was no longer my time to be there.  As much as you may want to fight the obvious, listen to the signs and what they are telling you.   Recognize patterns. Drink some bourbon. Think. Drink some more bourbon. Workout. Die. Come back to life and eventually and HOPEFULLY, come up with a new plan to get out of the way of those kicks.  If not, you're just another asshole on America's Funniest Home videos giving a plastic bat and ball to a 5 year old.  What do you think is going to happen?


For me, moving back is moving forward and stepping back is focusing ahead.  I can't tell you what I'm going to do in Chico, how long I'm gong to be here and what is next.  All I know, it sure is nice to find parking again!  :)


To be continued......