Today is the day we send a universal shout out to love. We give Valentines to our crushes. Extra kisses to our significant others. An extra treat to the pooch.
What about us? When do we ever give ourselves a little extra love? In fact, do we really even love ourselves?
Do we?
OK, that sounded a little Mr. Rogers-ish. Let me put it a different way. When was the last time you told yourself that you are totally awesome? Nothing fancy, just a simple conversation between you, yourself and I.
“Self, you rock! The world is a better place because you are in it! You are smart, cool, funny, successful, talented, lovable, hugable, incredible and beautiful. You’re a warm, caring, big-hearted friend. Self, I must say—you’re pretty friggin’ awesome!”
Was that an awkward? Did you turn a little red from all the self-praise? Did it make you feel a little arrogant or full of yourself? Well, it shouldn't!
We are our own worst enemies. We fill our heads with so much negativity, self-afflicted torment and personal disbelief that on some level, we must feel that accomplishing anything other that brushing our teeth twice a day is a sheer act of God—right?
Bottom line, we abuse ourselves. I'm not even talking about the fun kind of abuse like happy hour, riding unicycles, spending more than two nights in Vegas, etc. I'm talking verbal abuse. Probably sounds a little over the top to you, but we all do it.
“I wish I was ___________, then I’d be happy”
"Boy, that was stupid! Why am I such an idiot?"
“I can't do that. I'm not strong enough.”
"I won't get the promotion. I'm not good enough."
“Ugh, I’m so fat, I’ll never be able to ________.”
“I hate my _________.” “I could never talk to a girl/guy like that. What would they see in me?"
"I suck! I'm lame. I can't!"
This kind of talk is flat-out abusive. If you fill your head with this type of junk on a regular basis, you are in an abusive relationship—with yourself. Crazy to think of it that way, but it’s true.
I bet that if your good friend were in a relationship with someone who constantly called her fat, stupid, pathetic, ugly and incapable, you'd have something to say about it right?
Absolutely you would!
If you are walking down the street and someone calls you a name, do you feel amazing afterward? Do you jump up and click your heels?
"Yee-haw, he called me Kwazimoto! I think I'll celebrate."
Um, I don't think so. You probably get angry, hurt, annoyed and generally feel pretty bad. Do you think you're going to turn around and have a good day? Maybe. You might let a comment or two roll off your back. But most likely you'll step in gum—"Ugh!"— roll an ankle—"Watch your step Stupid"—and lock your keys in the car—"Idiot." Nine times out of 10, negative thoughts and situations (your's or another's) will determine the rest of your day.
Lets play out another scene. You walk into the office and your co-worker tells you how beautiful you look today. How good are you going to feel? Because of how good and confident you now feel, you strut into your boss' office and ask for that well-deserved promotion. You get the promotion and decide to celebrate with friends at a local wine bar. Out of nowhere, in walks Mr. Right....or Mr. Right Now. Either way, he's hot and you're feeling so amazing, confident and cool, you ask for his number. The rest is history. The point of all of this is that good, positive, happy thoughts turn to good, positive, happy energy, which ultimately creates a good, positive, happy reality.
What do you think bad, negative and sad thoughts and energy will do? They will suck the life right out of you.
So this week, be a Positive Polly and not a Negative Nancy.
Love yourself because you are one totally awesome, fantastic, amazingly rocking human being!
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